Lockdown was good overall. It gave me time to assess my life and reflect on things wasn’t working and things I want to do more of.

Having my partner at home all the time was pretty intense. We got on each other’s nerves and we argued. I think we were both feeling stress in some ways.

One thing really bothered me during our heated discussion. He commented that I was behaving like my mother.

It really hit me. Just like when my friend said ‘I like routines’.

Me and my mother do not get on well. We don’t have a good relationship. Maybe because I left home at the age of 18 and she still treats me as a young girl. She has not seen me growing into an adult. We didn’t share our adult journey together. She doesnt know my spiritual side neither.

So when my partner said I am becoming like her….. oh dear I wasn’t happy! She was like the person I do not want to be! But I somehow behave like her! Oh no! Hope it is not genetic taking over!

That really made me think. Made me think hard about how I am behaving towards my partner and others.

I know that people you meet in life are reflection of yourself. They show you the part of you. If you don’t like something about a person, you have the characteristic in you. And it speaks loud and hit you in your face.

So I wonder and ponder. How did I get to this? What can I do to change it? How can I make myself the person I want to be?