April 21. It marks my 21st anniversary for living in New Zealand. 21 years in this country. So long but was so quick. 


When I first came here, I did not have much English. Speaking, listening and comprehending English was sooooooooo hard. I had to carry my dictionary all the time and get people to look up words I did not know. Everything took more time. I had to listen English words, put into my brain, translate into Japanese, think what I say in Japanese, translate it back to English and then speak. Long process. 


After 21 years of living in NZ, my English got better. Now I do not have to “translate” English into Japanese. I just understand English words as words. Some words I do not know but I can guess from the context. I stop thinking about the meaning of words. 


Sometime, when I read a book, I feel sentences and understand them this way. I am not sure if I am using my brain to comprehend. I just understand. I do not think about meanings, I just feel the sentences and absorb the whole lot. 


Even written language has vibration. I feel this now as my brain is tuned in different way from 21 years ago. I love reading. Reading English books were the worst nightmare for me back then. I do enjoy reading now. I read a lot. But I do not read word by word. I read, feel, and absorb with my whole body, not just with my brain. 


Spoken words certainly have vibration. Some words are sharp, some are soft and warm. Depending on the tone we use, whole feeling of spoken words change. Sometime we feel stabbed with sharp language. Sometime we get cuddled by warm language. Feeling with our whole body. That is the real conversation.


I think it is quite good not to understand the meaning of the language we use. It gives you other means to understand the language. Feel the words and enjoy the vibration.